In the morning, Amy was entering the railway station, walking hurriedly to catch the 7:05 passenger train.A small child came to her, begging, one hand stretched in the hope of receiving something and the other, stroking his stomach to define hunger.
Many thoughts crossed her mind at that instant- the train, whether she would be able to catch it or not, whether she should give the child some money or the apple in her bag, but its his daily business, at this age he should study instead of earning...
Finally, she concentrated on catching the train.
On her way back home, outside the metro station, she again came across such a situation but this time with an old woman, with a skeletal frame, wearing a tattered saree. Her mind was again divided into two parts, fighting over whether to give or not, am i promoting begging.Why doesn't this auntyji do something to employ herself, why doesn't the govt give employment opportunities to physically fit beggars??
Finally, she passed by.
In the evening, as she went to the market, yet another woman carrying a child approached her.She thought in her mind, not again.The woman followed her to some distance, begging for the child and promising different kinds of good wishes- " beti, tujhe achha pati milega, tera ghar achha basega, bhai ki achhi naukri lagegi etc etc. "
Yet again, after millions of thoughts rushed through her mind, she passed by silently.
These scenes are an inevitable part of her daily commute and they somewhere made her feel inside that she has become such a stone-hearted person.
But there were other incidents that justified what she did.
She was once travelling with her cousins on a train.An old woman with a child, came begging. They thought it better to give her something to eat. They gave her some fruits and bread-jam. The moment she had her first bite, she started behaving weirdly, shouting loudly-pata nahin kya khila diya hamein... Creating a full drama for more than 20-25 minutes, refusing to go unless she was paid a good sum. Fellow-passengers gathered and settled the situation finally. That day she remembers, a harsh lesson learnt.
Another day, same commute. A woman not looking like a beggar came towards Amy and her friend, as they stood not very far from their office. This time the dialogues were new- "Beta mere 300 rupaye gum ho gaye hain, meri madad kar do, mujhe paise dedo"
Her friend, not new to such kind of robberies (asking for help and then snatching away the wallet and shoot like a cheetah), said- aunty paise toh hamein aapse maangne chahiye, student ki pocket mein toh hamesha hi kadki rehti hai ..etc etc. As he started his speech, the uninterested aunty walked away.
These scenes somewhere made her feel inside that she should not be fooled by beggars.
Then why Amy's mind is still parts into two opposing pieces at the sight of people, specially children; poor deprived of food, cloth, shelter- the basics.
Should she give something or simply pass by? Should she give money or food? Are chocolates a good idea?